I'm Like A Bird

There was a song I used to listen to by Nelly Furtado. I found the link for you here in case you have no idea what I'm talking about. I was 7 when it debuted but I remember listening to it more when I was 10 or 11. There's one line in particular that is sticking out to me right this second.


"I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is, 
I don't know where my home is"


I realize the song is a little dramatic and cheesy, but hang with me here.
I think the reason Ms. Furtado's lyrics are reaching out to me tonight is because I'm having a rough time with this "I live at school but my parents are at 'home' and what the heck does 'home' even mean" thing. I know from a zillion cross stitched pillows that "Home Is Where Your Heart Is" but as Relient K will remind us,


"If home is where the heart is
Then my home is where you are" (listen)


I also know I'm in college now so times have changed. I kinda live at home and mostly live at school for 9 months of the year and only the Lord knows what this summer will bring so let's not even go there. 
I'm not the only one wrestling with this. People will say "After lunch I'm going to go back and sleep" but they conveniently leave out labeling their dorm room as "my room" or "home." When the dorms are filling up again after a break, people will say "it's so great to be back" as though they were coming home. Strange. I'm right there with them! 


It was tough to leave home and come back to school. I have a bed in both places if you're standard for home is wherever you lay your head down at night. I bring clothes back to the house for the weekend because I am a visitor in my own house. I don't really live there. I live here in the dorm but it's not my home. 
It stinks to have to leave home when I know the next 3 weeks will be insanely stressful with school work and social stuff. That's always sort of stressful. Looking at this week I feel like it's this huge blob at the end of the street and as the clock gets closer and closer to my 8:20 Monday morning wake up call, I'm taking a step towards it. I know it won't attack all at once, but fighting a slow bit-by-bit battle seems like a bigger challenge than kicking its but in one fell swoop. 


I know, I know, I need to suck it up. This is college. It's supposed to be a challenge. I've never done this before but I hate letting that be an excuse. I should be good at something the very first time and never mess it up or have to do it differently. Duh! 


So now I will return to the homework I didn't do over the weekend and stop complaining about how tough life is when I am insanely blessed. 
Ah, Life.