It's one of those things I decided a while ago and then I just stuck with it.
I have my reasons. The ones I'll tell you are "They're loud, smelly, sticky, expensive, annoying, they talk back, slam doors," and so on and so forth until I have you saying "You know, that was you." I laugh and that's usually the end of it. There are more reasons but a blog that's open for anyone with a web connection is not really the place to delve into them.
If one day I did have a child and she was a girl, I think I would name her Daisy.
Now, your brain probably said "Woah, Hippie Princess. Slow down there. What about her classmates and bullies? Why don't you just name her Galaxy Wheat Juniper Lightening Winter Lark and be done?"
Or, for those of us who have read The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, you thought "Daisy, like the woman who Gatsby was obsessed with and who had almost no character, spirit, or life?"Yeah, slow down there, fast thinkers like me. I have thought of those things. Maybe it will be her middle name. Every kid goes through that stage where they're embarrassed about their middle name.
Daisy makes me think of the song by Switchfoot. Now you may be thinking "Pshh yeah right, I do NOT have the time or energy to go find that song, make sure it's the right one, and look up the lyrics." Well lucky you, reader. I posted a link for you right here. It has the lyrics ON the video. That's right.
Listen!
Don't worry, I'll still be here when you get back. Take 4:19 and listen to it. Go on. Even if you've heard it a zillion times.
So, what did you think? Pretty amazing right?
I love their progression from the really simple guitar to the intensity at the end. And the use of "contrition" and "avarice" are pretty impressive. Well done, lyricist.
The part that speaks to me the most is:
"Let it go, Daisy let it go
Open up your fists. This fallen world
Doesn't hold your interest, it doesn't hold your soul.
Daisy let it go"
Wow. Daisies are simple, joyful, and beautiful. My absolute favorite flower. I love that there are so many different variations but they are all daisies, just like how every woman is different but we are all women created by God. This makes me think of a simple girl (*cough, me) who has put too much emphasis on what people are telling her, the sadness of the evening news, the opinions of other, the hatred people are capable of, the lies she has told herself.
No. I am more than that. WAY more than that.
I am a daughter of Christ. I am a comforter. A sister. A cousin. A granddaughter. A niece.
I'm not great at those roles all the time. Often, I stink at them.
Last night in my speech class, one girl, Dana, presented her testimony. She had missed the night we had all presented our Introduction to Self speeches. I really don't know the Internet protocol for what I can and can't share about this and I wish I did. Here's what I feel is okay to say because it pertained to me. Dana said she doesn't know where she stands with God. She wrote out her testimony for the University like everyone else and she wrote what they wanted to hear. She's not sure that she is saved.
She met all the requirements of the speech and was blatantly honest with our class. Woah. Shock wave.
I told my story, sure. I gave things that were true. I lied through omission. I did not have the guts to be that honest with the class. I left out plenty of things that I shouldn't have because I was scared of what people would think of me. I was not brave enough to put myself out there like Dana. She was ready to share and looking for help. I was not willing to put myself on the line in case someone was in a similar situation and needed guidance too. Who am I to guide- the blind leading the blind never got us too far.
I sat through the rest of class feeling like a stinking hypocrite. I just felt really badly. After we had a big discussion about honesty and being real with God, our teacher gave us a break. Thank God I had my prayer journal with me. Read more about that here.
When I got back to my room, I prayed some more.
While I didn't think of it then, a song just came to mind that really fit with how I was feeling.
It's a Relient K song for which I tracked down a copy with lyrics- don't you love me?
And he's talking about his friends who have made bad choices in college. But the part I felt like was most applicable was
"What have you been doing lately?
Your life could use improving greatly"
What have I done with God lately? Pretty much nothing. It's not a great feeling. You know what else isn't a great feeling? Crawling back to Him teary eyed and repentant. It's scary and not fun. But I guarantee you will feel a lot better than being all moody and avoiding the topic when He comes around.
So yeah. That's life right now. He is faithful in renewing me.
I had fun stuff to say too, but that can go in its own post.
People will tell you "Don't wait, do it today!"
But hey, do it when you're ready. If you do it because you "feel" like the moment is right, you'll fall back into the same patterns when the feeling is gone and feel worse than you did in the first place. I can't count how many times I did that.
Do it when God knocks on your heart. Maybe it will be during a Praise&Worship night. An alter call in front of your whole congregation. Maybe it will be in your room at 10:00pm all alone. Maybe it will be walking up the stairs. He knows.
Uh, I guess like on an airplane, put away any beepers or pagers. I don't believe anyone still has them and honestly I don't remember if they had off switched- but they likely did.
Try it for 5 minutes. It's likely going to be uncomfortable. Your thoughts will fill the silence pretty quickly if you are anything like me. Write if you want to or read your Bible. Start with 5 minutes and as you come to enjoy the silence, increase the time you are spending with God and without electronic distractions.
Please know this is an instructional guide for me too. I stink at this! But I'm trying to get better!
Whoo- that was a lot! Well done if you made it through my wild ramblings. I will be posting again tomorrow BECAUSE it's somebody's birthday!!
Ps- did you get the reference in the title? If so, you are a nerd after my own heart :)
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