I had an amazing encounter with God last night. So here's what happened.
It all starts with yesterday morning (insert rippling screen with harp noises that let you know as the TV viewer that we are going into a flashback)
I woke up early so that I could video chat with Kayla, my sister. After we got all the technical difficulties out of the way, we had a good conversation about life and how things are for each of us right now.
Then I went to Baldwin (the dining hall on campus) and had breakfast. I read Proverbs 14 because it was the 14th and that's what my philosophy professor suggested we do. Proverbs is 31 chapters long, so it's perfect. And hey, if you forget on the 12th, don't feel guilty like you need to read 2 chapters, then feel overwhelmed and quit. You get it next month or on a day when you really need some big wisdom.
I began reading Proverbs this summer and marking [wise] or [wisdom] every time I saw it. It occurs a lot!
If you feel like you are lacking wisdom, I highly suggest Proverbs.
I went to my philosophy class and discussed what makes you who you are. Dave (ugh, yes, that is how I will refer to him but only per his specific instruction) began talking about Phineas Gage (see left) who, in an accident during his job on a railroad construction site, got that tamping iron (the one he is holding in the photo) through his head. It entered under his jaw bone on the left side near the hinge, above where you would take your pulse, and exited his head out the top right side of his skull. I'm having trouble explaining where I mean, so check out the other photo on the right side.
Woah. Needless to say, he blacked out. He survived (duh, there's a photo of him) and he was still able to speak. His frontal lobe was effected and therefore his personality was effected. He went from being a proper business man and a hard worker to an impulsive and rude man. Here's the link to his wikipedia page if you want to know more: More on Phineas Gage.
This story and another were told in order to set up the question: What makes you who you are? Your personality, your memories, your character?
Dave began asking about Alzheimer's and asking if that person is still them. I put up a big wall and rather shut down. I did not want to think about my paternal grandfather suffering for more than seven years with that disease before his death and all the pain it caused me, my family, and especially my grandma. That apparently stuck with me the rest of the day.
I went to classes, had lunch with a girl from my NSO group, and went to my Writing for Results class. Pretty soon, it was time for dinner and I had planned to go with my whole NSO group. Not everyone was there, but it was lots of fun. At the end, it ended up being me, Liz, and Wesley. Wesley starts talking about this relationship that he's not really in, how they aren't dating but they are talking very seriously about parenting styles and things of that nature and my judgemental nature kicks in. I'm thinking "you do not talk about stuff like that with the opposite gender until you are engaged. That's crossing a line" and THEN my head said "but, if you wait until you are engaged, your heart is already so involved that if you might be reluctant to call it quits even if you find out something that could be a major issue in marriage." He talked about how the love two people have for one another cannot stay between those two but must be shared with others. Not in a creepy Big Love kind of way, but that the happiness you have and the love you have been gifted with can be passed on an paid forward.
Needless to say, I had a lot to think about. I went back to my room, sat down, and prayed.
I don't know if you all get distracted in your own brain, but when I pray in my head I get distracted.
I write my prayers in a journal. It's just for me and God and I would be pretty dang upset if anyone else read it. I still sometimes beat around the bush at what I mean in case it is found, but I would hope that, if I lost it, someone would be respectful enough to see that the pages are titled "Dear God," realize they were prayers, and return it to me.
So I prayed. I went to the last night of our fall spiritual emphasis week session, called Summit. Dr. Kimberly Majeski was talking about Nehemiah and how the jobs he ended up doing were likely not what he thought he would be doing or what he was capable of doing. God led him somewhere and enabled him to do these different tasks because God has a plan for him.
She said something akin to "if you don't know what you want to do [that is, a career] then just do things you love to do". And I thought "I don't know what I love. I don't know what I want to do!"
Worship began. As we are singing, I'm thinking about how maybe I should try out to lead worship, how maybe I should have auditioned for choir, etc. A lot of doubts. Then I get it. I love to sing. I love to sing hymns. Who loves hymns? The elderly. And people like me, but they are frequently associated with the older generation. Do you know what else I love? I love to make people smile. To hold their hand. To do word searches. To do puzzles. To play checkers. God had revealed it to me. I am supposed to go volunteer at a retirement home. I smiled. It was very cool.
I asked God to allow me to know if that was my own head thinking or from Him.
Then, the band, who had been playing their songs (I assume, I hadn't heard them before) and two hymns all week, and one round of "How Great is Our God" begins to play Hillsong's "Hosanna".
The bridge to this song has meant a lot to me not only because the lyrics are amazing, but because a line from the bridge was printed on our team t-shirts that we wore every day on my mission trip to the Dominican Republic last January. On that trip, we spent one day in a leprosarium, which is like a hospital/nursing home for those with leprosy. People there are disfigured due to the disease and even though much more is understood about it today than was understood about it in Jesus' day, they hardly have any visitors. Some of the patrons are too sick, weak, or otherwise unable to leave their beds. They lay there all day and all night with no one to sit by their side.
This is me and the man I sat with at the party. I wish I could remember his name. I hope he is there this year too. I am so excited that my dad and I get to go back! This day's shirt says "Show me how to love like You have loved me" which was so fitting. Jesus was not scared of the people with leprosy in His day. In the same way, we are supposed to love people who our culture ignores or hates. Getting to hang out with the people Jesus spent time with is an amazing experience.
As a team, we brought guitars and our few Spanish songs we know, including "Cuan Grande es Dios" (that's How Great is Our God, for you nonSpanish speakers) and Alabare, which is a favorite of the people who live there. We put on a show that includes puppets and dance. We bring them gifts like new socks, a Beanie Baby, a baseball cap, a new shirt. We make balloon hats for them. We talk to them with our (see:my) ridiculously bad Spanish. We put our hands on their shoulders. We hold their hands. We sit close to them because others will not out of fear.
Right after this moment of revelation, I had a doubt. Right after this moment of doubt, the band began playing "Hosanna".
God is good.
When I got back to my dorm room that night, I called my parents and told them. I did want to blog, but that would stink to have to read it on the Internet first!
I saw the Outreach Coordinator (OC), Heather, from my dorm and spilled my guts about the whole thing. She was very excited about my passion. She gave me the name of another OC who leads the group to Colonial Oaks every week and I emailed Abby that night. I checked the schedule, and guess what, she goes Thursday afternoons. Thursday is my most open day. God totally lined this up. I am going in about 30 minutes to meet with Abby and then head out.
I'm nervous and excited. Woooooooo God! He is so big and powerful. Wow.
PS. If you ever hear that Dr. Kimberly Majeski is speaking somewhere near you, I suggest that you do what you can to get there and hear her. She is personable, easy to listen to, has amazing stories, a lot of knowledge, a lot of wisdom, a sense of humor, and a big heart for the Lord.
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