My Mother

Today is my mom's birthday.

Happy birthday, Mama!

She is amazing. She is strong. She is the best story teller. She is a warm and comforting light. She is a hard worker. She is able to talking to ANYONE. She is a believer in Christ.  She is beautiful. She is an excellent student. She is loved by many. She is a powerful friend. She is a fierce protector of those she loves. She is a great hugger. She is a Sunday school teacher. She is incredibly intelligent. She loves me unconditionally. She puts up with me. She is hilarious! 

Christmas tree farm

An entirely different year at the Christmas tree farm

My mom and dad at the wedding of a family friend

Me and Mom near Two-Mile Bridge in Montana

Mom in Montana 

Graduated with her masters degree in communication from Northwestern University (yeah, THE Northwestern)

Mom in Yosemite

She's my mom- how great is that?

"Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow..."

I'm usually the first to say "I don't want to have kids"
It's one of those things I decided a while ago and then I just stuck with it.
I have my reasons. The ones I'll tell you are "They're loud, smelly, sticky, expensive, annoying, they talk back, slam doors," and so on and so forth until I have you saying "You know, that was you." I laugh and that's usually the end of it. There are more reasons but a blog that's open for anyone with a web connection is not really the place to delve into them. 


If one day I did have a child and she was a girl, I think I would name her Daisy.
Now, your brain probably said "Woah, Hippie Princess. Slow down there. What about her classmates and bullies? Why don't you just name her Galaxy Wheat Juniper Lightening Winter Lark and be done?"


Or, for those of us who have read The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, you thought "Daisy, like the woman who Gatsby was obsessed with and who had almost no character, spirit, or life?"
Yeah, slow down there, fast thinkers like me. I have thought of those things. Maybe it will be her middle name. Every kid goes through that stage where they're embarrassed about their middle name.


Daisy makes me think of the song by Switchfoot. Now you may be thinking "Pshh yeah right, I do NOT have the time or energy to go find that song, make sure it's the right one, and look up the lyrics." Well lucky you, reader. I posted a link for you right here. It has the lyrics ON the video. That's right.
 Listen!
Don't worry, I'll still be here when you get back. Take 4:19 and listen to it. Go on. Even if you've heard it a zillion times.




So, what did you think? Pretty amazing right?
I love their progression from the really simple guitar to the intensity at the end. And the use of "contrition" and "avarice" are pretty impressive. Well done, lyricist.
The part that speaks to me the most is:
"Let it go, Daisy let it go
Open up your fists. This fallen world
Doesn't hold your interest, it doesn't hold your soul.
Daisy let it go"
Wow. Daisies are simple, joyful, and beautiful. My absolute favorite flower. I love that there are so many different variations but they are all daisies, just like how every woman is different but we are all women created by God. This makes me think of a simple girl (*cough, me) who has put too much emphasis on what people are telling her, the sadness of the evening news, the opinions of other, the hatred people are capable of, the lies she has told herself.

This world is fallen. Let it go. It doesn't hold my soul. I am a human being on this earth but my soul has much bigger plans laid out for it by God. I am a being using this body temporarily. Now, it is a rental from God. He has designed it just the way He wants it and I am to take care of it and use it to honor Him. But think about yourself. What makes you who you are? Are you defined by your physical characteristics? Blonde hair, short, blue eyes, muscular legs, tiny feet- is that who I am?
No. I am more than that. WAY more than that.
I am a daughter of Christ. I am a comforter. A sister. A cousin. A granddaughter. A niece.
I'm not great at those roles all the time. Often, I stink at them.


Last night in my speech class, one girl, Dana, presented her testimony. She had missed the night we had all presented our Introduction to Self speeches. I really don't know the Internet protocol for what I can and can't share about this and I wish I did. Here's what I feel is okay to say because it pertained to me. Dana said she doesn't know where she stands with God. She wrote out her testimony for the University like everyone else and she wrote what they wanted to hear. She's not sure that she is saved.
She met all the requirements of the speech and was blatantly honest with our class. Woah. Shock wave.


I told my story, sure. I gave things that were true. I lied through omission. I did not have the guts to be that honest with the class. I left out plenty of things that I shouldn't have because I was scared of what people would think of me. I was not brave enough to put myself out there like Dana. She was ready to share and looking for help. I was not willing to put myself on the line in case someone was in a similar situation and needed guidance too. Who am I to guide- the blind leading the blind never got us too far.


I sat through the rest of class feeling like a stinking hypocrite. I just felt really badly. After we had a big discussion about honesty and being real with God, our teacher gave us a break. Thank God I had my prayer journal with me. Read more about that here.
When I got back to my room, I prayed some more. 
While I didn't think of it then, a song just came to mind that really fit with how I was feeling. 
It's a Relient K song for which I tracked down a copy with lyrics- don't you love me?
And he's talking about his friends who have made bad choices in college. But the part I felt like was most applicable was 
"What have you been doing lately?
Your life could use improving greatly"
What have I done with God lately? Pretty much nothing. It's not a great feeling. You know what else isn't a great feeling? Crawling back to Him teary eyed and repentant. It's scary and not fun. But I guarantee you will feel a lot better than being all moody and avoiding the topic when He comes around. 


So yeah. That's life right now. He is faithful in renewing me.
I had fun stuff to say too, but that can go in its own post. 
People will tell you "Don't wait, do it today!"
But hey, do it when you're ready. If you do it because you "feel" like the moment is right, you'll fall back into the same patterns when the feeling is gone and feel worse than you did in the first place. I can't count how many times I did that. 
Do it when God knocks on your heart. Maybe it will be during a Praise&Worship night. An alter call in front of your whole congregation. Maybe it will be in your room at 10:00pm all alone. Maybe it will be walking up the stairs. He knows. 

On a similar note, allow moments of silence of your life. Yes, God can handle battling through the distractions of your life. But just try it. Put away your computer or turn it off. Yeah, OFF. Don't just put your phone a foot away from you. Turn it off too. Put it in a drawer. Don't pause your music- close iTunes or WindowsMediaPlayer or Pandora or Grooveshark or Youtube or whatever else you use to listen to music. Turn the TV off. 
Uh, I guess like on an airplane, put away any beepers or pagers. I don't believe anyone still has them and honestly I don't remember if they had off switched- but they likely did. 


Try it for 5 minutes. It's likely going to be uncomfortable. Your thoughts will fill the silence pretty quickly if you are anything like me. Write if you want to or read your Bible. Start with 5 minutes and as you come to enjoy the silence, increase the time you are spending with God and without electronic distractions.
Please know this is an instructional guide for me too. I stink at this! But I'm trying to get better!


Whoo- that was a lot! Well done if you made it through my wild ramblings. I will be posting again tomorrow BECAUSE it's somebody's birthday!! 


Ps- did you get the reference in the title? If so, you are a nerd after my own heart :)

Have You Ever Heard the Wolf Cry...

As I was walking out of the library today, I decided to take off my shoes. They're cute flats- Rocket dogs, from the clearance rack at Carson's last year. I grabbed them right before my senior photos and took them to the shoot.

They were cold and wet and kind of hurting my feet anyways. It's about 45 degrees and rainy here today (blegh). As I was walking on the cold, wet pavement, I thought "When was the last time I took my shoes off except in my dorm room? I used to love walking around barefoot!"

Then it hit me. This idea of separation from the natural world. For those of you who didn't take a philosophy midterm today- what's that? NONE of you did? Oh.- cynicism in Greek philosophy was the idea of getting back to nature. It must have been brewing in the back of my brain because I began considering how far away we are from the environment.

*According to my Writing for Results course, it's okay to use "you" if used sparingly and in something non-formal. Guess what, this is non formal and I plan to use "you" excessively.* #soHA!

We drive everywhere. Yes, I walk across campus but going anywhere off campus means I'm getting in my car. The windows are up, the music is likely on, probably sunglasses on, and you are completely blocked off from the sounds around you. It has happened to me before that I have to turn my music down to hear a siren. That's no good.

When I do walk, sometimes I listen to my iPod, especially when it's across campus. I'm not listening to the sounds around me. I usually walk with my head down out of habit. I wear layers of clothes. I wear shoes on my feet.

I am blocking myself off from as much as I can.

I'm not suggesting you walk around naked or that you walk 50 miles to your office every day, just that you make a more conscious effort to be apart of the Earth that God has created and given to us. How can you know what will be best for the earth if you don't even know it, if you never spend time with it?
That was a little Pocahontas-y, but I hope you catch my drift.

I miss this movie. I should watch it. Sometimes I sing the songs from it but I don't know them too well. 

Uh hello? Is things still on?

That awkward moment when I haven't written anything on this blog in a month.
Sorry about that.
There are so many things to tell. Some of them are mundane but hey, sometimes those are the things that bring me the most joy. 
Today, I got my Myers-Briggs personality test results back. I took one in high school too, but I don't remember what I got. If you've never taken one, you should google it. It's interesting but I don't want to try and explain it here because a) I'm lazy and b) I don't want to terribly goof it and leave out something important. I was right on the border of introverted/extroverted last time I took it. 
This time, results were "ESFJ".


I have one more class this afternoon and one tomorrow morning and then it's off to see my beautiful sister for the weekend. I can't wait! I sort of love that we have nothing planned. It's gonna be great.


Last week on Thursday, I went to Airband which is a lip syncing/dance performance competition at Taylor University. It's awesome. Last year, the wing that 2 of my friends are on got 2nd. This year, they got 1st!!! One of my friends puts all the music together and the other one choreographs, so it's kind of their baby. They were amazing. I was so glad to get to see their hard work pay off. I took my suitemates Jess and Liz with me to see the show and 4 of my friends from home met us there! 

It was so great to get to see all of them again. I didn't think I would see any of them until Christmas! 
Hurray for seeing friends. 
We screamed and cheered like idiots for our friends who were performing. It was awesome.




There's so much to tell, I don't know what to leave out and what to put in. 
I did well on my speech test last night, so that was happy. 
I think my philosophy midterm went okay. It's tough to tell. I don't have absolute confidence in it. I actually sat and went over my answers (very unusual for me!) and changed a few of them. However, sometimes that's a bad thing because your first instinct is usually right. Whatever, can't change it now!


I bought a bunch of new things went I went home last weekend (oh yeah, I went home!) and I'm trying to decide if I should post pictures of them or find photos on the internet. I will probably take photos later and put that in its own post. 
It was homecoming weekend, so I got to see the kids from my youth group. We all go as a group to the dance, dates and stags, and we dance off to the side away from the seemingly infinite grinding train that always happens at school dances. I honestly believe we have way more fun. 


There's me and Krista. She's no longer my favorite freshman because she's a sophomore! She's so beautiful. 


I got a note in my mailbox today that was pretty jingle-y. I could tell there were coins in there and I thought "I didn't loan anyone money. Even if I did, why wouldn't they just hand it to me? Strange." When I got back to my room, I opened it to find this: 

I have a feeling this doesn't happen at state schools.

I love IWU. 

I wrote 4 encouraging notes right after this and put random mailbox numbers on them.

Pay it forward, right?

Now off to class in the freezing cold and rain. Gotta love Indiana!