Celebrity Hate

I used to be outspoken about how much I dislike certain celebrities. I didn’t like who I was when I was badmouthing these strangers. I worked to cut it out of my life and let me tell you it has been pretty great without it. 

It’s really easy to nitpick and judge the life of a celebrity because all kinds of details, true or otherwise, are out there to glean. What they wore, who they are dating, how they treated the restaurant staff, how they raise their kids, what they eat, how they run their brand, etc. You name it, you can probably find out about it. When access to all that information is freely available, it’s easy to feel like you actually know them, understand their life, and have the right to pass judgement. My goal is not to represent these individuals as blameless or perfect, but just remind you (and me) that they are people too. 

Let’s start with Kesha. By the way, she dropped the dollar sign from her name. I shared more than once in high school how obnoxious and stupid I thought the song “Tik Tok” was. To be honest, it still gets on my nerves a little and there are other Kesha songs I like way more. That was, at one point, the only song I knew by her and I decided that she was stupid, not creative, and just wanted to party. Now, I regret begin so outspoken about those things. Yes, Kesha does sing a lot about parties. But you know what, so do a lot of other musicians. She also does have a real voice, not just one auto tuned. She is a serious artist who has overcome serious struggles. She is an advocate for animal rights, she went to rehab for her struggle with an eating disorder, and sued her producer Dr. Luke for a variety of things including physical, emotional, sexual, and verbal abuse. Her boldness in confronting her abuser is honorable. My biggest turn around about how I feel about a celebrity occurred here, with how I feel about Kesha. My friend Nathan who took his own life loved Kesha and I often think of him when I hear her songs. Also, I firmly believe that “Blow” is one of the best party songs to ever exist and it is on my ‘must play’ list for the dance at my wedding. It builds and resolves wonderfully and it makes me want to DANCE. 

Miss Britney Spears. If there ever was a human who got ripped to shreds by the media, it’s Britney. Picture Britney over the years, from innocent young lady to over exposed sex icon, to broken and shaving her head publicly, to the come back queen she is today. Wow. She has come full circle. She went through an incredibly difficult time in front of everyone and there was this insane gawking at her and daily “Britney reports” about how she was acting out. In crisis, she did some crazy things and everyone saw it. How might things have gone differently if she didn’t have countless cameras in her face and people yelling at her and reporting every thing she said and did. When I think about what I want when I am in crisis, I think about quiet, space, and comfort. From what I can tell, Britney did not have a lot of these things. I am proud of (from what I can tell) how well she is doing today and I never want her to be a joke or the point of reference for how crazy someone is acting (a la: On a scale from 1 to Britney in 2007, how insane was your day?) She is a person. 

Miley. She has grown up in the spotlight much like Britney did. There’s a lot of things I could say about her and the image she puts out for people to see, but here’s the truth, I’ve never met her. She may have goals I don’t know about, but as a celebrity and a musician, it seems that one of her goals is to be noticed. She is really achieving her goal. People are curious about her, they want to know all the details of her latest antics, and people write articles about her. I think she was the most googled person in 2013! 

Kim Kardashian. Keeping Up with the Kardashians is in its 10th season. People really care about this family as a whole and about the individuals in the family. Kim was also highly googled in 2013. 

I think it’s impossible to fully understand what life is like for these women- all the money, all the fame, and all the pitfalls that come with it. 

I’m not saying all celebrities make good choices and are being misrepresented. What I am arguing is that it’s not worth being a loud mouth/gossip about the lives of strangers who live in limelight. I really had to ask myself about the need to know the details. If I think a certain celebrity is so stupid and does dumb things, why do I care so much about wanting to know every single detail of their life? Am I wanting to know the nitty gritty so that I have more to dish about them? Isn’t that straight up gossip? Is that what I want to be about? If you truly think a celebrity is terrible, stop googling them. Stop paying attention to them. Eventually if no one is interested in someone anymore, they lose their celebrity status. 

Birthday Weekend

hey folks, it's my birthday this weekend. Never before (that I can recall) have I been less excited about my birthday. It's not a "woe as me I am so old" thing, but rather a "I have a zillion things to do" thing and my birthday just kind of drifted to the back of my head. So maybe that does mean I'm getting old.
Anyway, I am turning 22 (cue the T-Swift) which is cool. I like doubles and I like even numbers and I like not being 21 anymore because there's this expectation to be wild and crazy- the wildest thing I do is eat too much ice cream and it is wild because I'm lactose intolerant. My fiancée is coming to town which is the thing I'm most excited about.
That's right, I'm engaged! It's very exciting. Every once in a while, I day dream about our wedding day and how cool that is going to be. We already have so much planned- I have my dress, we have our deposit down on the venue for ceremony and reception, the boys all have their suits (alterations needed), I have the suits picked out for all my bridesmaids, and we booked a DJ. Andrew and I are choosing a save-the-date this weekend and we can send those out soon. In other exciting news, my (future) sister in law had her second baby and he is doing better than they were anticipating (praise God) and my sister is going to have her baby soon! Also I'm graduating in May but that feels so far away which is painstaking but also good because I have SO much crap to do before then.
Not being super excited about my birthday is weird because I love birthdays. How cool that you get a day for you (and whoever else was born that day)? A fellow blogger posted a thing for her birthday and I am going to borrow it. You can read Courtney's list here.

4 names people call me other than my real name:
- Beth Annie
- Bee (like Queen Bee)
- BG
- Money Bags

4 jobs I've had:
- Crewgirl. Your basic camp grunt, doing dishes, serving meals, cleaning toilets, feeding kittens, watering plants, setting tables, etc.
- Summer secretary
- Camp counselor
- Program host. Overseer of counselors and event runner

Four movies you've watched more than once:
- Good Will Hunting
- The Truman Show
- The Fighter
- It's Kind of a Funny Story

Four books I'd recommend:
- The Last Segregated Hour: The Memphis Kneel-Ins and the Campaign for Southern Church Desegregation by Stephen R Haynes
- To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
- Yes Please by Amy Poehler
- 14,000 Things to Be Happy About by Barbara Ann Kipfer

Four places I've lived:
- McLeod, MT at this beautiful place
- New Auburn, WI at this beautiful place
- Hainesville, IL
- Indiana Wesleyan University

Four places I'd rather be right now:
- Seeing a show at the Marriott Lincolnshire
- On a lido deck of a cruise ship
- Snuggled up next to my fiancée (is that too cheesy? You can roll your eyes. I'll allow it.)
- On a hike at Grandad's Bluff (La Crosse, WI) or Steeple (McLeod, MT)

4 (ok 6) things I don't eat:
- Applesauce
- Yogurt
- Cottage cheese (are you sensing a texture trend?)
- Bananas
- Pumpkin anything
- Sweet potato anything

4 of my favorite foods:
- Parmesan garlic boneless buffalo wings from BWW
- Pringles
- Bratwurst with sour kraut
- Chik Fil A sandwich with pickles. YUM. I drive past a Chik Fil A every single day. It's a struggle.

4 things I am looking forward to this year:
- 1st Christmas with my then-to-be husband
- Being an auntie
- Being a college graduate
- My wedding! (our. our wedding. I say 'my' a lot)

4 things I'm always saying:
- Shootie. It's more distinguishable from it's fouler counterpart and it's an "aww that's too bad!" that's not overplayed.
- Blessings. I say it as a thank you, and sometimes I say "blessings, thank you."
- Hey cutie. I say it to Andrew, I say it to dogs, I sometimes say it to friends. Once I said it to a dog but didn't say anything to their owner and afterwards I was like "oh shoot, they totally thought I was talking to them." whoops.
- A DOG! / Puppy!! It happens almost every time I see a dog. I love them. They're so. stinking. cute. always. I love old dogs and young dogs and big dogs and (almost) every tiny dog. I want to be their friend.

College Help Part 4/4

This is the final section of college help from one particular brainstorm session. Pass along these tips to people who may like them.

10. See if you can find a house. Someone who lives nearby, a family at your local church who will have you over, some place that is a home with a mailing address and a couch where you can hang if dorm life is overwhelming or stinky. It could happen. If the house has a dog, all the better in my opinion. It’s weird how much you miss house stuff when you live in a dorm. 

11. Do your thing. You might not know what that is. Now is the time to figure it out. By that I mean that the window is open, but don’t jump through it if you’re not ready. Try stuff out because maybe you are the 6AM run, shower, go to class girl. Maybe you’re the girl who camps out at the table Monday night and does her homework for the week. Maybe you’re going to be the “big man on campus” as it were who everyone knows. Develop an identity and allow it to change. If you do the 6 AM run thing once and never do that again, well then okay. If you love that, then keep doing it. 

     11a. Your morning routine will make or break you. If you want coffee and a bagel for your 8AM class, you better get to the coffee shop before 7:56 if you’re interested in being on time to class. Maybe that’s not super important to you. Try brewing coffee in your room if your dorm allows and your roommates and your pocket book (to people use those, is that a thing?) will thank you. I got a used mini fridge from friends who had graduated and it was great to have the option of storing cheese sticks or other snacks in there. If you’re cool with rolling out of bed and into class, then don’t stress that everyone else is getting ready and looking nice. If you want that, then make that your jam. If you hate being late, then plan ahead. If you like eating breakfast, plan ahead. If you love being late and hate breakfast food, you should still think about setting an alarm. 

     11b. Study habits. If you’re like me, you rarely studied in high school. By study, I mean “hey that test is Wednesday so Monday and Tuesday I am going to review the material by re-reading my notes, taking new notes on the text, quizzing myself, writing flashcards, etc.” I did do that occasionally, but not consistently. When I showed up at college, I didn’t really know how to do that. I figured I could just listen in class and succeed. Sometimes that works but not always. If you don’t know how to study, you gotta try some stuff. Be realistic about what is working and what is not working. Study with other people, study alone, study in silence, study to music, write it down 12 times, say it out loud, make up a song. Spend your time on things you don’t know. When it comes to test time, trust your gut. If you second guess yourself and you did have the right answer but you erased it, you will be bummed. 

12. Finally, safety. I have attended two colleges, both private, Christian universities and neither of them was incident free. Violence happens everywhere, but it definitively more likely to happen in certain places to certain people. If you are going for a run, tell someone where you are going and when you expect to be back. Go with someone on that run. Walk in well-lit areas. I never know if it’s better advice to be talking to someone on the phone while you walk back to your dorm because then if you were attacked you could scream and that person would hear you, or to not be on your phone because then all your attention is on your surroundings. If someone says “I’ll text you when I get there” and they don’t, call them. If you know how to use it and feel comfortable, carry pepper spray. Be willing to call campus police to pick you up. I never did it but I heard it happens. If you are consuming alcohol, have a sober buddy who has your best interest at heart and is dedicated to getting home safely. It’s a tough balance between being constantly terrified and never considering that there may be danger. Again, trust your gut. If you have a bad feeling about the dude standing by the door, go out a different door. If the only person in the elevator gives you the creeps, wait for the elevator to take them to their stop before you call it again. Don’t let the desire to be considered polite put you in danger. If you have a bad feeling, don’t ignore it.

Whew! I hope some or all of those tips are helpful. 

I don’t love saying “do this” “don’t do this” because you’re an adult and can make your own decisions, but it’s more concise than saying “if you want to, you can do this thing." My apologies if that bothered you throughout these tips. It kind of bothered me while I wrote it. 

College Help Part 3/4

Go check out the previous two weeks to see the first 6 tips. You won't want to miss it :) 

7. There may be free counseling at your university. Do it. Just try it. You can talk about whatever which is sweet. You can gab about your annoying roommate, talk about how you don’t want to be there, or talk about all the things you thought were true about counseling. There will probably never again be free counseling available to you.

8. Speaking of trying things, you can try things. You don’t have to, I didn’t, but you might like them. A friend of mine named Alex had a college rule to try anything three times. If after the third time it was lame, then he didn’t force himself to go any more. I don’t straight up regret not doing stuff, but my college experience would have looked a lot different if I had gotten involved early/at all. 

9. This may be the first time in your life you share a bathroom with someone. My first year, there were two rooms that had a sink and mirror joined together by a bathroom with a shower and a toilet. Here’s some basic tips- talk about what kind of responsibilities there are for bathroom cleaning and how often it’s going to happen. Is everyone going to leave all their shampoo in the shower or do you take it out every time in a bathroom caddy (get one they are cheap and useful for when you go home). If there’s free toilet paper, do you get one every Wednesday? Who changes the garbage- the first one to crack or is it a written responsibility each week? Will the hair ever leave the floor or will it be there always. I had a suite mate who pooped in the shower and didn’t clean it up. She sometimes would use the bathroom and not flush. So don’t think all the things you find as common sense expectations for bathroom usage are the same as your suite mates. Also, may be a good idea to pick a side of the sink for your stuff and your roomie’s stuff.

9a. This isn't really about bathroom etiquette. But know that when gross/ hilarious/ disgusting/ unbelievable things happen, they will one day be super funny college stories to swap. In the moment it may make you mad, but don't forget about it because one day you may laugh. There is some crazy college folklore out there and it probably happened to someone somewhere. 

Next week is the last part of this college tip series. I reserve the right to add more whenever :) 

College Help Part 2/4

Check out last week's post for tips 1-3

4. If you need to use something, use it. If you have dandruff, don’t hide that head and shoulders shampoo. I prefer Clear scalp & Hair therapy shampoo. The truth is, if I don’t, then I get dandruff and like to wear black so I gotta use it if I want to be looking fresh. If you have some special face cream that keeps you from being a crater face, use it. Let other people know your beauty secrets. Don’t be ashamed to do the things that make you feel confident (within reason. probably don’t wear a cape to class but if you do, do it confidently.) 

5. Be nice to your parents. If you feel like they are hounding you for information, they likely miss you and are showing interest in your life. If they don’t call and you feel they have forgotten you, they are probably trying to give you your space. They don’t know how this college thing works with you yet either. Even if you have another sibling who has been to college, you haven’t and you know you’re different than they are. If you are feeling smothered, say something. If you’re feeling neglected, say something. Open communication and honesty, people. That’s the key. Whatever you tell them, do it nicely. You’ll kick yourself for being a jerk to them. 

6. On the same wave of communication, if you need help, seek it out. The ladies at the registrar’s office at Indiana Wesleyan were information angels. Older people in your program can help in telling you which classes and profs to take. A prof can suggest other resources for studying or reading. Also your advisor. Well, maybe.

     6a. Personal anecdote: When I came to college, I was predeclared, aka I didn’t pick a major. I was assigned a “find out what you want to be” course as a freshman rather than an “all the freshman who picked your major together so you can get to know them” group. This course was lame for a number of reasons, including that I was pretty sure I wanted to study psychology but I didn’t want to commit because I was scared of the stigma. I actually waited until the end of my second semester to declare a major. This was problematic because I had an advisor meant for people who were predeclared. He didn’t know a lot about individual programs because that’s not his game. The university auto-assigned me an advisor for my major and my minor. When I was registering as a person who had a declared major, I didn’t know I still had to get my classes approved. I thought that was only for people without a major. So I picked my classes, marched to the office, and said, “I am looking for this guy because it says he is my advisor” and that guy happened to walk in and he was like “listen, little lady [or something equally condescending], you are mistaken. I am the advisor for addictions counseling which is your minor so that is wrong” but I had no idea how to switch my advisor so I said “OK but could you just click accept?” and he said “ok” and he did. Turns out, I needed to be in a sophomore seminar that I didn’t know existed. An advisor would have known that. It ended up being fine because, spoiler alert, I transferred. But even if I had stayed there, I still could have graduated. I ended up taking a psych seminar as a senior. LAME. It’s meant for freshman. Take it when you’re supposed to if you can help it. 

Next week there will be more tips :)

College Help Part 1/4

College is not an exact science. There are all different ways to do it. As someone who is still in the college life but has already done a lot of it, I feel I am the perfect person to write this guide. This is not the be all end all list of things to know about college. This is a general guide but I have a feeling a lot of will apply wherever you are or wherever you might go. I’m trying to use phrases someone might search when they’re trying to prepare for college so they can find this. Maybe someone would search “college freshman guide help” or “things I need to know for college” or something to that affect.

1. Buy yourself a stapler and staples. Don’t be that guy who shows up to class with their paper typed and asks the prof for a stapler. It’s not their job to bring it. When you turn in your stapled paper, feel free to look down your nose at those who are scrambling. Just kidding. I liked the completeness of knowing the only step left was to turn it in, not an ‘ok my paper is done but I hope someone has a stapler I can use’ feeling when I finished my work. 

1a. A teacher is called a prof and it’s pronounced like ‘cough’ not ‘proof.' It’s appropriate to say “Prof Erickson” or “Professor Erickson” until they say otherwise. I have had profs request to be called by their first name and it was always weird to call him Dave. Don’t call out “Teacher” or “hey prof” because that’s weird and not respectful. Let someone else do it and watch your prof’s reaction. 

2. Get a printer. This is not as necessary as a stapler. When I bought my computer for college I got a free printer. Of course, ink and paper isn’t free. This is the same principle as the stapler— when you’re done writing your paper, there’s a sense of completeness to have it printed, stapled, in your backpack and ready to go. If you have a paper due in a general education class (gen ed), you can bet that the library printing queue will be jammed with people trying to print and then run to class. Avoid the craziness. Get your own printer. It won’t be a one-time thing. You will have stuff to print and you will be ready to print it when the library is not open. I had a wireless printer but with the school’s Internet system and my room’s router, the signals always got crossed. I had to get a cord that connected my printer to my computer and I don’t know how much it costs but it gave me an “I know I can rely on this” feeling. You can figure out how to split the cost of it if your roomie wants to use it too, like each buy the ink one time or she buys the next pack of paper. 

(See how 1 and 2 are both about alleviating some kind of minor life anxiety? There’s going to be a lot of stress in college. Removing small stressors will make the big stuff not seem so tough because you won’t have had to deal with a zillion other things already) 

3. Find many places that are your home. My friend Maggie spent time in Zambia and she explained that for a while, she only felt at home in her tent. Eventually that was too small of a space for her to be herself, so she also made the campfire ring a comfortable ‘home’ and her seat in the Jeep, etc. At college, you’re going to have to find new places to be home. Hopefully, your room is a safe, comfortable place. Bring home-y things like warm lighting lamps and pretty pictures of things you like and soft pillows and comfy blankets. Maybe a rug, even if there is carpeting. Bring some stuff from home. BUT you can’t just be comfortable in your room or you’ll never leave (been there done that). Find a table at the coffee shop where you can be you. I don’t mean take off your shoes and brush your hair there (yuck, seriously don’t) but you have to be comfortable somewhere else besides your room or even smaller, your bed. Find a table in the library. Find a study spot upstairs in the building where you have classes. You’d be surprised all the places there are tables and benches just waiting to be used by you. They are meant for you. As a student, they are provided for you to use. Clean up after yourself if you eat there (which in most cases, you totally can) and don’t sit by an outlet if you don’t need it because aren’t you kind of bummed when someone is sitting by an outlet and not using it? Ugh. 

More tips next week :) Sorry to end this one on a sour note of "ugh" but that's life sometimes.