College Help Part 3/4

Go check out the previous two weeks to see the first 6 tips. You won't want to miss it :) 

7. There may be free counseling at your university. Do it. Just try it. You can talk about whatever which is sweet. You can gab about your annoying roommate, talk about how you don’t want to be there, or talk about all the things you thought were true about counseling. There will probably never again be free counseling available to you.

8. Speaking of trying things, you can try things. You don’t have to, I didn’t, but you might like them. A friend of mine named Alex had a college rule to try anything three times. If after the third time it was lame, then he didn’t force himself to go any more. I don’t straight up regret not doing stuff, but my college experience would have looked a lot different if I had gotten involved early/at all. 

9. This may be the first time in your life you share a bathroom with someone. My first year, there were two rooms that had a sink and mirror joined together by a bathroom with a shower and a toilet. Here’s some basic tips- talk about what kind of responsibilities there are for bathroom cleaning and how often it’s going to happen. Is everyone going to leave all their shampoo in the shower or do you take it out every time in a bathroom caddy (get one they are cheap and useful for when you go home). If there’s free toilet paper, do you get one every Wednesday? Who changes the garbage- the first one to crack or is it a written responsibility each week? Will the hair ever leave the floor or will it be there always. I had a suite mate who pooped in the shower and didn’t clean it up. She sometimes would use the bathroom and not flush. So don’t think all the things you find as common sense expectations for bathroom usage are the same as your suite mates. Also, may be a good idea to pick a side of the sink for your stuff and your roomie’s stuff.

9a. This isn't really about bathroom etiquette. But know that when gross/ hilarious/ disgusting/ unbelievable things happen, they will one day be super funny college stories to swap. In the moment it may make you mad, but don't forget about it because one day you may laugh. There is some crazy college folklore out there and it probably happened to someone somewhere. 

Next week is the last part of this college tip series. I reserve the right to add more whenever :) 

College Help Part 2/4

Check out last week's post for tips 1-3

4. If you need to use something, use it. If you have dandruff, don’t hide that head and shoulders shampoo. I prefer Clear scalp & Hair therapy shampoo. The truth is, if I don’t, then I get dandruff and like to wear black so I gotta use it if I want to be looking fresh. If you have some special face cream that keeps you from being a crater face, use it. Let other people know your beauty secrets. Don’t be ashamed to do the things that make you feel confident (within reason. probably don’t wear a cape to class but if you do, do it confidently.) 

5. Be nice to your parents. If you feel like they are hounding you for information, they likely miss you and are showing interest in your life. If they don’t call and you feel they have forgotten you, they are probably trying to give you your space. They don’t know how this college thing works with you yet either. Even if you have another sibling who has been to college, you haven’t and you know you’re different than they are. If you are feeling smothered, say something. If you’re feeling neglected, say something. Open communication and honesty, people. That’s the key. Whatever you tell them, do it nicely. You’ll kick yourself for being a jerk to them. 

6. On the same wave of communication, if you need help, seek it out. The ladies at the registrar’s office at Indiana Wesleyan were information angels. Older people in your program can help in telling you which classes and profs to take. A prof can suggest other resources for studying or reading. Also your advisor. Well, maybe.

     6a. Personal anecdote: When I came to college, I was predeclared, aka I didn’t pick a major. I was assigned a “find out what you want to be” course as a freshman rather than an “all the freshman who picked your major together so you can get to know them” group. This course was lame for a number of reasons, including that I was pretty sure I wanted to study psychology but I didn’t want to commit because I was scared of the stigma. I actually waited until the end of my second semester to declare a major. This was problematic because I had an advisor meant for people who were predeclared. He didn’t know a lot about individual programs because that’s not his game. The university auto-assigned me an advisor for my major and my minor. When I was registering as a person who had a declared major, I didn’t know I still had to get my classes approved. I thought that was only for people without a major. So I picked my classes, marched to the office, and said, “I am looking for this guy because it says he is my advisor” and that guy happened to walk in and he was like “listen, little lady [or something equally condescending], you are mistaken. I am the advisor for addictions counseling which is your minor so that is wrong” but I had no idea how to switch my advisor so I said “OK but could you just click accept?” and he said “ok” and he did. Turns out, I needed to be in a sophomore seminar that I didn’t know existed. An advisor would have known that. It ended up being fine because, spoiler alert, I transferred. But even if I had stayed there, I still could have graduated. I ended up taking a psych seminar as a senior. LAME. It’s meant for freshman. Take it when you’re supposed to if you can help it. 

Next week there will be more tips :)

College Help Part 1/4

College is not an exact science. There are all different ways to do it. As someone who is still in the college life but has already done a lot of it, I feel I am the perfect person to write this guide. This is not the be all end all list of things to know about college. This is a general guide but I have a feeling a lot of will apply wherever you are or wherever you might go. I’m trying to use phrases someone might search when they’re trying to prepare for college so they can find this. Maybe someone would search “college freshman guide help” or “things I need to know for college” or something to that affect.

1. Buy yourself a stapler and staples. Don’t be that guy who shows up to class with their paper typed and asks the prof for a stapler. It’s not their job to bring it. When you turn in your stapled paper, feel free to look down your nose at those who are scrambling. Just kidding. I liked the completeness of knowing the only step left was to turn it in, not an ‘ok my paper is done but I hope someone has a stapler I can use’ feeling when I finished my work. 

1a. A teacher is called a prof and it’s pronounced like ‘cough’ not ‘proof.' It’s appropriate to say “Prof Erickson” or “Professor Erickson” until they say otherwise. I have had profs request to be called by their first name and it was always weird to call him Dave. Don’t call out “Teacher” or “hey prof” because that’s weird and not respectful. Let someone else do it and watch your prof’s reaction. 

2. Get a printer. This is not as necessary as a stapler. When I bought my computer for college I got a free printer. Of course, ink and paper isn’t free. This is the same principle as the stapler— when you’re done writing your paper, there’s a sense of completeness to have it printed, stapled, in your backpack and ready to go. If you have a paper due in a general education class (gen ed), you can bet that the library printing queue will be jammed with people trying to print and then run to class. Avoid the craziness. Get your own printer. It won’t be a one-time thing. You will have stuff to print and you will be ready to print it when the library is not open. I had a wireless printer but with the school’s Internet system and my room’s router, the signals always got crossed. I had to get a cord that connected my printer to my computer and I don’t know how much it costs but it gave me an “I know I can rely on this” feeling. You can figure out how to split the cost of it if your roomie wants to use it too, like each buy the ink one time or she buys the next pack of paper. 

(See how 1 and 2 are both about alleviating some kind of minor life anxiety? There’s going to be a lot of stress in college. Removing small stressors will make the big stuff not seem so tough because you won’t have had to deal with a zillion other things already) 

3. Find many places that are your home. My friend Maggie spent time in Zambia and she explained that for a while, she only felt at home in her tent. Eventually that was too small of a space for her to be herself, so she also made the campfire ring a comfortable ‘home’ and her seat in the Jeep, etc. At college, you’re going to have to find new places to be home. Hopefully, your room is a safe, comfortable place. Bring home-y things like warm lighting lamps and pretty pictures of things you like and soft pillows and comfy blankets. Maybe a rug, even if there is carpeting. Bring some stuff from home. BUT you can’t just be comfortable in your room or you’ll never leave (been there done that). Find a table at the coffee shop where you can be you. I don’t mean take off your shoes and brush your hair there (yuck, seriously don’t) but you have to be comfortable somewhere else besides your room or even smaller, your bed. Find a table in the library. Find a study spot upstairs in the building where you have classes. You’d be surprised all the places there are tables and benches just waiting to be used by you. They are meant for you. As a student, they are provided for you to use. Clean up after yourself if you eat there (which in most cases, you totally can) and don’t sit by an outlet if you don’t need it because aren’t you kind of bummed when someone is sitting by an outlet and not using it? Ugh. 

More tips next week :) Sorry to end this one on a sour note of "ugh" but that's life sometimes. 

Movie Review

I just watched Silver Linings Playbook.
I did not like it. Now I will proceed to tell you why I did not like it.
There are spoilers to plot points here, so go watch it on Netflix for yourself before you read on.

The idea that two people who suffer from mental illnesses could have a romance is not novel. A movie I really enjoy is called "It's kind of a funny story" which shows a teen suffering from depression and his story (guess what, a girl is involved) including his depression [I would recommend this movie, although warning, there are a few puking scenes]. SLP declares that the characters have mental illnesses and points them out (remote ordering, luck rituals, freaking out and bashing a man's head in, having a sexual addiction) but this movie isn't about mental illness. Robert de Niro's character (Pat Sr.) apparently suffers from OCD but I don't think it's portrayed in all its seriousness. Of course, some OCD is more mild than other forms an perhaps his is mild.
You don't see a manic phase of Bradley Cooper's character's (Pat) bipolar disorder, although maybe him reading late at night and throwing the book out the window was meant to portray that? It's not a diagnosable manic episode and neither is him beating up his wife's lover. Both are crazy and exaggerations of normal behavior, but not manic. Jennifer Lawrence's character (Tiffany) is certainly 'messed up' (she uses more colorful language) and describes details of her past and how she is recovering. Her awkward social encounters and bluntness seem the most real, like they are behavior traits that would really coincide with her illness. If this was meant to be a love story with a focus on mental illness, I felt it didn't go far enough.

I didn't appreciate that the two main plot points have events occurring on the same day(!) because that is overused. Granted, it's not as though Pat was playing in the football game and competing in the dance competition. The emphasis is on the weight of the outcome of the dance and of the football game which, for the sake of drama, happen one right after the other. I will tell you I rolled my eyes when it was revealed that these two events were on the same night. I thought it was cliché.

I do not like the family talking all at once scenes. Maybe it was done to accurately portray life at a house in Philly, but it felt forced, like the filmmakers thought 'We have to do this so let's try to make it work even though it isn't working.' Also I just think that's stressful and hard to listen to so I don't like it in any movie. I can't watch Cake Boss either- everyone is yelling at each other!
 I liked the dinner with Veronica (Julia Stiles- I like her a lot and I'm glad she is still acting) and Ronnie. It was awkward and silent and Pat and Tiffany were able to shine in a weird way. I like how the 'normal' family members get played against the weirdness of other family members.

I did like how the talk with Nikki was not dramatic, not an epic climax, not the thing you thought you were waiting for. I mean, obviously Pat and Tiffany were going to end up together (I have seen a movie before, people) and I liked how we had been hearing about Nikki and waiting to have this moment with her in the present rather than flashbacks but this is all you get- a greeting and a mystery whispered into her ear. It doesn't give you the big moment because it's not about her- it's about Tiffany.
That being said, I didn't like that Pat and Tiffany ended up together. If you look at how different they are, how little time they get to know one another*, and how much stuff both of them still need to work through, their declaration of love seems false.
The bottom line of this post is to say I am getting cynical in my early 20s. I maybe would have enjoyed this movie at a different point in my life, but not today. There was so many things I did not like about it that it outweighed what I did like about it.

*Hey oh, let's talk about the diner scene. First of all, Jennifer Lawrence committed. That woman is amazing and not overrated (I realize that sounds sarcastic after all my ramblings about how I didn't like the movie but I'm totally serious) as you can see in the scene. The tears welling up in her eyes and the tone of her voice and her giant sweeping everything off the table motion. It's what anyone (see: me) might want to do in that situation would want to do but wouldn't because it's inappropriate to cause a scene. I felt like this is true to her character who struggles with societal norms but also kind of shows the advantage of it- she gets to have that victory moment and cause the scene you want to cause because she's not afraid. Of course, it's movie perfect because she is (assumedly) still allowed in the diner, people cheer for her a little, and no one calls the cops. None of that would probably go down that way in real life. Yes. This scene was Great and so was her standing up for Pat not 10 minutes later outside the movie theatre after he royally did her wrong. But those two moments do not an entire movie make up for.
Also, if anyone has a video of what that lift was supposed to look like, I would love to see it.
Overall, I would maybe give it a 3 out of 10. Not my favsies. I recently wrote a thing for class in which my professor commented upon the return of the assignment "My, the cynicism is heavy" which made me laugh and also inspired me to turn my critical eyes on as I watched this movie. I hope I didn't seem cranky.

Let it be Known

I skied on water this week. Three times. And I am sore. I polyurethane-d six doors and stained four picnic tables.

Some weeks just sneak up on you

This last week (or so) was not what I expected at all. I've adopted the phrase "The plan is pudding" because it's the exact opposite of a concrete plan. Here's what I thought would happen: I would finish my last day of classes for my junior year of undergraduate work, then the following week I would take my finals. The last day of finals (Thursday), I would head to Chicago with my boyfriend and see my very favorite band using tickets we bought months ago. Then we would go camping with our friends on Friday and Saturday night in Lake Geneva.
Some of that happened.

The last day of classes I was walking back to my car when I got a call about a friend. I worked with Nathan in the summer of 2012, my first one at Arrowhead on summer staff. Nathan had passed away earlier in the week and it was my boss calling to let me know. I was shocked. I hadn't seen Nathan since that summer ended because he did not return for summer 2013. Nathan was brilliant. He was studying at Yale Divinity and had graduated from UW Madison. He taught a seminar at camp (4 days, 50 minutes each session for a total of 200 minutes) in which he taught the whole Old Testament to junior and senior highers. He took a Kesha (no longer Ke$ha in case you wondered) song and changed the lyrics so it told the story of the Old Testament. Once he explained the origin of "meme" and it's a lot older than you think. He had a way with words (an odd but endearing one) and most of all, he loved Jesus and he loved the people around him. Nathan also struggled with depression throughout his teen and young adult years.
So suddenly, I'm missing someone I haven't thought about in quite a while, not sure what to do. I have to prepare for my finals the following week and deal with this loss.
My finals went just fine, and my parents were supportive of me throughout the next week. The service for Nathan was a week after I found out.

The next Thursday, instead of taking my final and heading to the city for a fun night, I went with other camp people (as they are so fondly called in our circle) to Middleton for Nathan's memorial service. It wasn't that I was bummed I had to go to a funeral and miss a concert. It was more like "Wow, when I bought these tickets, I had no idea this was going to happen or that life would take such a turn" and I wondered how long Nathan had been thinking about his end.

Seeing so many people from many years at camp in one place was a comfort. We each knew Nathan to varying degrees. Some people had done a two week program with him called b.a.s.i.c. discipleship. Some people had gone to Bolivia with him as a continuation of that two week experience. Some people had worked with him both summers he was on staff at camp. Some people did a month long s.o.u.l. discipleship with Nathan. Seeing his closed casket in the front of that church felt sad. There's not another word for it. They displayed flowers and drawings Nathan had done, self portraiture to be exact. He drew his face from a photo that my friend Maggie had taken. I was there when she took that photo and I remember complimenting both her and Nathan. It was a great shot.
5 people shared about Nathan- his work with the Navigators, his discipleship of men in his dorm, his ministry at camp, and his love for his family. When the service was over, we stayed and cried and mourned the loss of our friend. We shared memories of the funny and serious talks we had with Nathan. We prayed for his family and his friends who remain on earth. We were grateful to God for the comfort we have in knowing Nathan is with God and that we will see him again.

We left the service late and got back even later. On Friday, the weather was cold and rainy and we canceled the camping trip. Instead, the six of us stayed at home and made our own adventure. We played video games, played Munchkin (very fun card game), sat around a camp fire, took a walk at Independence Grove, and enjoyed not sleeping in the 40 degree night air. The weather ended up being great (only after we canceled our plans of course) so we were able to enjoy some time outside together.

In addition, this week I got to spend time with the brand new baby of my best friend! Man, that little baby is CUTE. Also, she is tiny. Wow. And amazing. I can't wait to get to know her more. I didn't know that was going to happen this week!

Now, it is my last week at home before I go to camp for the summer. I have to get boater safety certified, and I have to pack, and a handful of other things I can't think of right now. I'm looking forward to the rush of heading to camp. I'll talk more about it soon :)

Ready?

A rambling explanation of what I have learned lately:
I like to be ready. I like to plan. I like to know what's coming next and I like to know how I am going to handle it. When this is impossible, I get uncomfortable.

In the last month or so, I have realized that life is not about knowing every corner of a situation before you go into it. That is impossible more times than it is possible. Life is about asking questions, figuring it out while you're in it, choosing an option, and sticking to it.

As with any principle, there are exceptions to the rule. I would not stick to something that was inherently harmful even if I had previously chosen it, or I'd like to think I wouldn't. Some situations require preparation and readiness, like a job interview.
Other times, it's totally appropriate to do things on the fly without a lot of planning. I need to recognize those moments and embrace their freedom. If the afternoon plan was to eat lunch alone and watch a movie but then I get an invite to go climb a mountain, it's okay to change things up and go because I don't know what could come of it. Maybe a broken ankle, but also maybe a beautiful view and a great experience. Or both, who knows. Not me if I don't go!

Children like things to be concrete. There is are good guys and bad guys, not ambiguous, troubled heroes. There is right and wrong. It is one or the other and the answer is clear. I hate to tell ya, kid. That's not life. Certainly there is a right and wrong and actions aren't morally ambiguous but I mean that sometimes there's just choices and neither of them is the 'right' one. You just pick one and go with it and hope it doesn't blow up in your face. There is sometimes research you can do and questions you can ask, but after all that is done, you still have to choose. So research. Ask questions. Gather what information you can. Listen to the counsel of others. Pray about it. And then choose.

Pick. Decide. Don't let life pass you by as you wait for the perfect opportunity to jump in. If you stand outside the double dutch ropes forever, you probably won't scrape your knee but you probably won't have any fun either. Take risks to a healthy degree (ie not Hey I bet that I could cross the tracks before the train does) because you don't know what could happen. With less risky things (ie should I go to lunch with that person or not) go ahead and try it (unless they are a murderer or something?) but with more risky things (where to live, what job you want to take, who you want to hang out with forever) do more research and ask more questions and choose more slowly. But you still have to pick. Not picking is picking.

This is your life. You're responsible for your actions, even if your action is to not choose. Life does not begin when your formal education ends, although that might be nice. Life does not begin once you have hit any milestone. It is happening now. Don't miss it. I don't think you can ever be totally ready for something new. Jump in because you might fall flat on your face or you might have a lot of fun or you might fall flat on your face and have a lot of fun. The adventure in life is in the small things.

Time for a Change

Recently, I made a change. Not a big change-my-major change or alter-my-life change or decide-to-only-make-left-turns-from-now-on kind of change, but an appearance change. I tried to photograph all the steps of the transformation because I am not that good at taking pictures while something is happening.

Here is me before. I was not totally sick of my hair or anything, but I was ready to make a change. Sometimes you get that itch to change something, but that wasn't me this time around. I had seen some looks I really liked. I guess you could say that they inspired me. Here are some of the more influential shots that I liked:

I don't know who that first chick is but she looks like she is having a blast. Also, Kelly Osbourne. What a beauty. She has entertained some very different looks over the years and this one is just great. I liked it a lot.

Then I thought- Do I want to do that? What if I did that? Would that look good? I have a round face and she kind of does, and our skin tone is similar. It could work! Then I thought How am I going to pay for that? Then I thought Is there anything coming up in my life that I can't have purple hair for? I'm not standing up in anyone's wedding anytime soon. What if I did it now?

Originally, it was going to be a graduation gift for myself, but then I thought Why wait?

My friend Katie is a licensed cosmetologist aka she's legit, not just a person who dyes their friend's hair a lot. When I pitched the idea, she was eager to help and told me I would only pay for the materials and she would be happy to get the practice. And so, the transformation began!

We bought lots of stuff. Katie recommended Shimmer Lights shampoo to help cut the brassiness and keep it purple. First, we had to bleach. That really hurt. Katie was smart and recommended that I not scratch because it breaks the skin and makes it worse. Sort of like scratching a mosquito bite makes it itchier because it releases more of the poison or whatever in to you. That's disgusting. Anyway, back to bleaching.

There's the artist herself in the background.

We put some foil on it to help it sink in a little.

WOAH bleached head!

Adeline and I. It looks like she was crying, but she was just prepping herself for our silly photo.

She's a goof! Katie laughed when she saw this and said she probably takes too many selfies with the baby if she knows what to do. Also, I probably shouldn't call her a baby because she is almost two. That's beside the point.

So my hair was bleached and then we took a break because I needed to breathe. Then the purple began.

All the chemicals.

Dye on! Check out that color.

Nothing like an upside down shower underneath the tub spigot.

So we did a round of bleach, then two bottles of lavender and it actually wasn't enough to cover my whole head completely. So we had to go back to Sally's the next day and buy two more to cover it all and make it more vibrant.
The color has already faded (total bummer) but it is a semi permanent dye so that's what you get.
A few years ago, I did a dip dye of the bottom two inches of my hair purple and I took exactly two pictures. That was dumb. This time around, I figured I should take even more photos! Unfortunately, this leads to be being pretty vain and being the person who always takes pictures of herself. Oh well. Here's some of the better pics of the purple.

Excuse the pouty model face in the last photo. It was cold and I was indeed pouting about it. 

Mostly, I've received positive or neutral reactions. That's not really what the change was about, but people do get to react to it as they would like. I'm happy with it and it would be wrong to not give another thanks to Katie for doing the whole thing. You rock!